What If ....

These are some questions that I need to answer....
1.) What if I met you and made you fell for me 1 month earlier?
2.) What if I see you right beside him? What would I feel? What's the first thing I'll think of doing?
3.) What if it's the last thing I will do?
4.) What if I'm too depressed ? Will I be the same again?
5.) What if I sell my soul to the devil just to be with you?
6.) What if I die in front of you after saying these words "I Love you",What will you do?
7.) What if one of these things really happened?
8.) What if I go back and forth to where you are right now?
9.) What if I never see you again?
10.) What if God didn't created me?
11.) What if God didn't let us cross our paths?
12.) What if God takes you away from me?
13.) What if I never met you at all?
14.) What if I still love you eventhough I'm already old?
15.) What if you like my friend ever more than me?

The hardest question for me to answer is ....

16.) What if you still didn't like me at all? and you only think of me only as a stranger?

If you read this.... Which I hope you do... I want to you to know that I feel empty until I met you..

Thinking

Tonight I was thinking very deeply.. I was thinking about...will we be together? Am I trying too much to catch her attention?? or Am I just a fool for loving her eventhough she doesn't... All these questions running through my mind...I didn't sleep because of these... I'm really confused... I just want to go away and run until my mind and body collapse.. I can't take it anymore..

Later I have second thoughts of going to my province and see her once more... Is it maybe that I know that she's already taken.. I must think a while because it maybe a waste of time for me..and make my heart break.... I don't know if it's love but there's something in her that makes me strong..and at the same time fear of losing her....I lost one person before..will I let it happen again to her??

After all these questions.....I just only know one thing...that she's special to me..and I'll do everything just to see her smile...because her smile is everything to me.... =)

Night of A lifetime

May 20 , 2007 ... debut of my cousin.. a night that I thought will be ordinary like other nights..but I was wrong... It was a night full of suprises.. As the sun came down and the debut was about to start .. my friends and went to the place which the debut will be held.. As we were searching for a vacant table... my cousin's bestfriend led us to a table with the rest of my cousin's friends and classmates... at first it was quite akward because first of all I don't know all of them and I was too shy.. My friend managed to engage a conversation with some of them.. My mind was thinking of this one person.. which i waited for so long just to talk since she was from the province with my cousin.. Then as my eyes turned to the other table I saw her atlast.. smiling like the beautiful crescent moon in the sky.. glowing in my direction.. I was stunned for a few second.. and thinking how beautiful she looked like that night.. then she noticed me looking at her..and she smiled at me.. I was happy at that moment.. cause i never expected her to smile back at me...

As the night goes on...she was walking pass by me so gracefully... like a princess ... my cousin passed by me with her escort... I was glad to see her happy that night.. but my mind stills think of that one girl who took my breath away that night with just one smile... as the night was reaching its end... the emcee said that it's time for the "Dance Party"...at first we no one dared to dance.. so I went to the dj and requested some slow songs.. so the DJ did so..He played slow songs.. and during the 3rd song which was "Remember me this way" .. I was thinking of asking that girl to dance with me... after many doubts and questions like whether she'd reject me or not...but i said to myself...what the hell, atleast I tried..and had the guts to ask her.. Her first reaction was like this "?" in her face... I was already turning back..but then her friends made her stood up and she danced with me..But I still don't know if she really liked to dance with me or not.. but I was too happy to think of that..so I walked by her going to the dance floor... when we get there... I then saw her smile again which eventually took my breath away...

As I was holding her precious hands with mine... Right at that moment I felt that I was in heaven and in front of me is an angel which was sent to me to be happy that night...After the song I escorted her back to her seat...While she sat down.. I kept my happiness and excitement to myself and went to the corner smiling like there were no problems.. Thats what happened that night... then ......I remembered....



That she was already taken..... =(

by the way....her name is Mafe... the girl which changed my life...even for a short while

A New Story Begins for me?

I'm back again..I made a new blog because I think of it as a new start for me..But the big question is Am I really starting over? or Am I just thinking that I started a new life or is Am I just continuing a new chapter but same story in life?

Those questions still bugs me since the start of the year 2007..I hope that I really made a breakthrough of beginning again.

I may have change my life and ways but does my love for that certain change?
I now know that 1st love never dies..but love changes its course and finds another way of finding you..